You know Jumpy Smith.  Of course you do.  All true baseball fans know who Jumpy Smith is and you have been a faithful follower of the once immortal but now woebegotten Eagles for years. 

Admit it.

Jumpy, of course had earned his nickname by jumping up and down the faces of those blind men in black--season after season after season.

Well, when ol' Casey Sparks reached the All Star Game 27 games under .500 he was given his walking papers and Jumpy Smith was elevated to interim manager.  Jumpy was no longer at his third base coaching station for the first game of the upsurging Bombers versus his subverging Eagles but inside the shelter of the visitors' dug-out, right there at the rail of the top step.  

Some shelter that was.  In the top half of his very first inning as Eagles' skipper, Jumpy was clunked by a lined foul off the Louisville Slugger of Chico Gonzales, his own lead-off hitter.

Well.

Now Jumpy is recovering as a guest of St. Luke's Hospital with a knot on his grizzled melon the size of--you guessed it--an official Spalding's Major League baseball.

Now.

Wish him a quick recovery with a postcard but do not address it to St. Luke's Hospital in care of Jumpy Smith.  Make it Lumpy Smith and sign it a long suffering admirer.